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Why blog?

Hi! I've started this blog, 'Chest Deep in Quicksand' because that is how I feel most of the time. I've had depression at some level for as long as I can remember and probably before that, and thinking back I've probably had anxiety for that long as well. I was first diagnosed with depression aged 16. The doc flung a prescription for antidepressants at me and I've been taking them in some shape or form ever since. There was no counselling, no proper diagnosis, no warning that I could feel worse for the next few weeks/months, nothing. I was released back into the community and left to deal with life as well as I could. Somehow I made it through to my 30's with just a few blips including 6 weeks in bed after a very nasty incident that I may blog about later. I chopped and changed antidepressants as they stopped working or if I ended up in A&E feeling suicidal. Then I did a very stupid thing and married a complete asshole! An increasingly violent asshol...
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Dysthymia & Persistant Depressive Disorder

Dysthymia is a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction and in a psychiatric context, dysphoria may accompany depression, anxiety, or agitation. It is a mild, persistant, long-term form of depression and if combined with more severe depressive episodes it's now called Persistant Depressive Disorder. Although Dysthymia is a mild form of depression it can become major if it not treated quickly. I have had depression for as long as I can remember and I suppose, as a child, you just think everyone feels this way until you learn that this is not the case. By then it is too late and I was first diagnosed with major depression when I was 16 and developed PTSD in my 30's. The problem is that if the major depression goes away, I'm still left with this on-going low feeling until the next major episode appears. This low mood means that I rarely get any enjoyment out of life. I can recall times where I should have been having the time of my life but I was just counting the minute...
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